Like Losing a Loved One.......
Have you ever fallen in love with a place? With a feeling from your childhood that brought you unmitigated joy? A concept of exploration that you can't let go of?
I have, and it is (was) the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia.
Yesterday we all got the news about the museum shutting down. This 200 year old institution, the first natural history museum in the United States, will be gone before the next calendar month gets turned over on your desk calendar.
I cried about a place I no longer work at. I have no stakes in this, and yet it ripped my heart out. I used to work there, I held a position in the Patrick Center for Environmental Research for 6 years. But I no longer work there, and haven't for nearly a year. So why was I so upset?
I first walked into the Academy when I was a kid, enjoying another school field trip and getting to revisit with my grandparents. It was a place where natural history was displayed in full color, with scientists who would spend time talking to me, and where I could see real dead things in jars!
As I got older and had my own children, I brought them back to the Academy, every year for BugFest, for sleepovers with scouts and for hanging out after the Philly Science Festival (sadly, also no longer a thing).
And then, I got the chance to work there. After years of waiting for my dream job of working in Aquatic Ecology AND working in a Museum - I was beyond excited. It was a magical time, I was so naive and ignorant.
The friendships I formed and the science we all did together was first class. I have seen 6 students graduate, get grown up jobs or move on to graduate school, and I couldn't be prouder. I have worked with world class scientists who care not only about the collections, but about my experience and have mentored me in the kindest ways. The people who work there care about what they do, they are passionate amazing people who should be knighted and then given 100 million dollars. I have never met a group of people who care more about what they do then in that building.
What I didn't know then, but realize now, is that this institution was already limping and destined for closure when I started in 2019. During my tenure there, I slowly began to realize how dysfunctional it actually was. It was the place where I had the worst boss I have ever had in my career, and a few PhDs treated me with more condescension than was necessary. It was the place where we were told to do more with less and given even fewer resources and support, and so I watched my colleagues get burn out.
It was the place where I watched the demise of a loved one, the museum itself.
Who can we blame for this failure? Well, it's not just the federal funding cuts, or incompetent leadership, or a deal with a University that made poor financial choices. It was also a significant lack of resources, a building that has a repair bill that costs more than it's worth, and as much as I hate to admit it .... this was also the fault of all of us, including me. While it wasn't entirely my responsibility, my lack of understanding about what was needed to make a non-profit grow and thrive was part of the problem. The general public seems upset, but they didn't come out to visit the museum like they used to.
Natural history museums across the world are disappearing, most of humanity no longer cares about the story of where we come from and the world around us. The idiots in charge are actively working against any kind of preservation of natural history research institutions. It feels like a losing battle, and for those of us who do care, this current atmosphere just hits harder.
Collections in museums support important research, they are the "key not only to understanding the past and the present but to unlocking discoveries in the future." With over 73,000 type specimens (individual specimens that represent an entire species), historical specimens like the Lewis and Clark collection, and a history that dates back to the 1800s, there is no question the Academy holds a value that cannot be defined.
Within the announcement there was the promise of keeping the collections alive, and supporting the ongoing research within the walls. Drexel president Merlo says they "remain committed to the stewardship of the Academy’s collections which include more than 19 million biological specimens, fossils, archives and other scientific resources."
Can we trust Merlo? I dunno, but I feel like Paul Giamatti in Sideways... and I can't help but feel like the rug is going to get pulled out from under the feet of those who remain. Drexel has already shown us how little they care for this institution and the people within those walls. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
I don't know what the answer is, how to fix this or make it better. All I know is how to express my grief for my friends, the memories we made together, and that space.
Here are just a few of the many amazing people I met and the beautiful places I got to see during the 6 years I was part of that family ..........
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